


confusion

by The Key To Imagine (whiskeywit)



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:26:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10428096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskeywit/pseuds/The%20Key%20To%20Imagine
Summary: Title: ConfusionWord Count: 1321Rating: PG13Subscription: Their first trip to Hamburg... How exciting! ;)Disclaimer: I don't own the Beatles or their rights. This is only a work of fiction.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Backup of old fic originally posted to the Beatles community JohnheartPaul, currently residing on key_to_imagine, currently in locked status. Summary contains the header as is on the LJ post.
> 
> Originally posted pre 28 DECEMBER 2008.

''Quit following me around!'' John yelled for the thousandth time that night. The boy walking behind him wouldn’t shut up. Wouldn’t go away, and it pissed him off. Especially now he was drunk already. And then he decided he might have to change his plan of getting rid of him. If acting angry didn’t work, then why not turn it the other way around? Then why not scare him with love? So he quickly turned around, facing the boy behind him.

‘’George,’’ John said.

‘’Yeah?’’ George said, a sudden bit of frightening creeping over his face, not having expected John to turn around.

‘’Why the fuck are you following me?’’

‘’Dunno’’

‘’You do know, though. And I think I know why.’’

‘’You can’t know, because there’s nothing to know.’’

‘’There is though, you know. I think, I think, you love me’’

‘’What the fuck are you talking about?’’

John was happy, because George looked rather shocked. In fact, George’s mouth was hanging so wide opened it could almost touch the ground and there might fit an elephant in it. Or at least a very big ‘’frikadel’’ as how the Germans called the hamburgers here.

‘’You know just as well as me where I am talking about. Why else would you follow me everywhere around? Besides, you’re the only one here who’s still a virgin!’’

‘’I am.. Oh, yeah I am a virgin, but heck do you care about it? You were older than me when you first fucked!’’

‘’I weren’t and you’re changing the subject!’’ John yelled now.

‘’I am not changing the subject, you were the one changing it!’’

‘’hell, as if I care!’’

‘’Ah shut up yourself! You’re talking rubbish now’’

‘’No, I am just trying to get you away from following me. You look like a fucking tumour!’’

‘’Then the tumour is looking much better than it’s owner! Besides, if you think I like you, then fucking kiss me!’’ George quickly replied.

So John grabbed George by the sleeve of his leather jacked, and dragged him with him into a narrow alley. And he did something he’d never even thought about doing. He kissed George. Not just a peck, but a French kiss. Then he pulled back his head, face in disgust. He didn’t like kissing blokes. He’d just decided that; he’d never kissed any bloke before, but now he did and he didn’t like it. 

The only reason why he’d done it, was because he seriously thought George had meant it as just a joke. He’d thought that when he’d see George’s face, that face would look just as disgusted as his own.

But George’s face wasn’t. It was flushed, and he was studying the trash lying on the ground. 

‘’You didn’t, you didn’t mean that as a joke, did you?’’ John asked, a bit frightened.

‘’Mm’’

‘’I didn’t hear you’’

‘’No, John. I didn’t. You were right. I sort of...’’

And then John started running. He didn’t want to hear this... Didn’t want to hear it was true that George liked him more than just liking him as a mate. He’d been able to hide it, to not let George notice the glances he’d given John when they were on-stage. Not that the stalking might’ve been something else than just admiration. And he ran and ran and ran even further. He ran until he lost his breath. And when that was, he stood face in face with Paul.

‘’Hi, John, what are you doing here? Why are you out of breath?’’

Paul looked happy as ever.

‘’Paul,’’ John hissed, ‘’I think I have to tell you something’’

‘’Ok, what is it then?’’

‘’Can’t we talk somewhere in private then?’’

‘’We could go back to our rooms.. There’s no-one in my room right now’’

So they walked in silence back to their place. If you could call it like that. There were three rooms: One for Stu, one for Paul and one that George, Pete and John shared. And there was no way that John was going to sleep in the same room as George tonight.

When they arrived, they sat down on Paul’s bed.

‘’Ok, John, now tell me what’s wrong.’’

‘’I kissed George.’’

John hadn’t meant saying it so bluntly, it just happened. He just blurted it out.

Paul looked a bit in shock.

‘’Wha’? What did you do?’’ Paul said in disbelief. 

‘’I kissed him. He kept following me, and I first got angry and then I tried another approach and then I said I knew why he was following me, and that he was following me because he was in love with me and then he said jokingly ‘’then kiss me’’ and then I fucking kissed him!’’

John was starting to get into a rage now. 

‘’Well, what is the matter then? If you both know it was a joke?’’

John turned towards Paul.

‘’Don’t you understand? It wasn’t a fucking joke! I mean... ‘’

‘’You love him?’’

And John saw something in Paul’s eyes he’d not seen before very often. Tears. And there was something in his voice that sounded like... Jealousy?

‘’No... I don’t love him. But ... the ‘’then kiss me’’ joke George said... Turned out to be no joke...’’

‘’Oh, Jesus John! You already scared me!’’

‘’Why did I scare you?’’

John was now getting scared himself.

‘’Well... I don’t’’

He was cut off by John

‘’Jesus, Paul, don’t tell me what you’re about to tell now!’’

Although deep inside, John felt something weird now. He felt that a bit of him didn’t reject this. He hadn’t liked George saying it, but hearing Paul saying it, it felt... Right? How the fuck could it feel right when he felt something for Paul? And now coming to think of it... 

DID he feel something for Paul? Yeah, Paul was as a brother for him, nothing more, was it? They were hanging around a lot, ever since they’d met a few years ago. The same interests. And then later they’d wanked together. Thinking about Birgitte Bardot. But ... had they been thinking about her? Or had they just been... Had they just been talking about her while wanking just to hear each others voice?

It was already too late to think about it now. Because, before John knew, Paul was already kissing him. And this time, John let it happen. He didn’t know why, but it didn’t feel as weird, or disgusting as kissing George. It felt different, sure. But not so different he wanted to quit. 

And then he started to sob. It was the last thing he wanted, but he did. And he couldn’t help. And then there were Paul’s soothing hands over his shoulders and John just didn’t know what to feel anymore. And then there was Paul’s whisper.

‘’Do you want to know a little secret, John? You must promise not to tell, but I, er, I love you.’’

John said something he wasn’t sure about but he knew it needed to be said.

‘’I love you, too.’’

There was one problem left:George. But John could just sleep here tonight, and after that he could just say he'd met some German bird. Say he'd really meant it as a joke. They could help George find a nice bird himself, enough whores here.

And about his feeling for Paul? He didn't worry about it. About that there would, after all, be enough time to figure it all out. They were young, their lives had still to be lived, and they were in another country and would stay here for at least another month. And if it didn’t work out, then they could just say it was because they were here, in Hamburg, and that it was because of the drugs. Although John wasn’t sure about that either. After all, their chemistry had to be explained some way. And this seemed to be the right one. The only one.


End file.
